Just 7 days earlier, I had an OBGYN visit. After a great visit, I asked other moms of multiples if they thought I would make it to 36 weeks. My doc seemed very confident that I would, but I wanted to talk to moms who had accomplished it. We laughed and giggled at the possibility of me breaking the record for triplet birth weights. Everything was going great! This day I was super tired. I was beginning to struggle with standing for short periods of time. I was seeing the toll this pregnancy was having on my body. I decided to lay down and rest, but I needed to go to the bathroom first. Once I got in there, I realized my water had broken. Within an hour I was in the emergency room. I still was not sure what all this meant, but I knew I was not going back home until I had them. I had a 3 year old at home and I was not able to be with him. I was so torn. Everything was messed up. My body was failing the babies I was carrying and I was not able to parent the baby that was here. This was a Tuesday and after the steroids/ magnesium, I delivered my babies on Friday morning. They were 26 weeks 6 days. 2lbs 10oz, 2lbs 8oz, and 2lbs 3oz of perfection. It was a whirlwind. I had 4 kids. From 1 kid to 4 kids in about 29 mins. Continue reading
When Life Gives you Lemons: A Personal Story from Bulgaria about Pregnancy, Birth, Loss & Family, Part 2
In 2008, following the deaths of my children, I went home from the hospital feeling empty and broken-hearted. I simply wanted to close my eyes and die. I physically appeared to look pregnant and friends continued to enquire after the well being of my babies. I did not have the mental strength to deal with the reality of the situation and my husband was left to field the well-meant enquiries.
A number of months later we decided that we were strong enough to try for another pregnancy. The desire to have a family was so strong yet despite not being emotionally ready, we found the strength to embark on another pregnancy journey. Unfortunately the ICSI attempt failed and we had to face the stark reality of waiting for 12 months before we could try again (in Bulgaria families must wait 12 months between fertilization attempts).
Returning to work proved more difficult than I anticipated. While my friends and colleagues so dearly wanted to support and help me, they didn’t know how to speak with me, what questions to ask, or what I needed to help me in my grief. Continue reading
May 2006, strolling along the sun-kissed shores of the Indian Ocean, having spent 16 glorious days on the beautiful island of Mauritius, I turned to my partner, John. No longer could I keep the secret that I had been saving for the “right moment” and announced that we had a much longed for baby on the way. This news was the icing on the cake for what had been a wonderful year for us as a couple and now we had a bright future to look forward to with a child of our own. We returned to Ireland filled with excitement and looking forward to the pregnancy and our new roles as parents. For the next nine weeks my pregnancy was a mixture of day long “morning sickness” followed by periods of extreme fatigue, but nothing could dampen the joy and love that we felt for our growing infant. Continue reading