Just 7 days earlier, I had an OBGYN visit. After a great visit, I asked other moms of multiples if they thought I would make it to 36 weeks. My doc seemed very confident that I would, but I wanted to talk to moms who had accomplished it. We laughed and giggled at the possibility of me breaking the record for triplet birth weights. Everything was going great! This day I was super tired. I was beginning to struggle with standing for short periods of time. I was seeing the toll this pregnancy was having on my body. I decided to lay down and rest, but I needed to go to the bathroom first. Once I got in there, I realized my water had broken. Within an hour I was in the emergency room. I still was not sure what all this meant, but I knew I was not going back home until I had them. I had a 3 year old at home and I was not able to be with him. I was so torn. Everything was messed up. My body was failing the babies I was carrying and I was not able to parent the baby that was here. This was a Tuesday and after the steroids/ magnesium, I delivered my babies on Friday morning. They were 26 weeks 6 days. 2lbs 10oz, 2lbs 8oz, and 2lbs 3oz of perfection. It was a whirlwind. I had 4 kids. From 1 kid to 4 kids in about 29 mins. Continue reading
Tuve la oportunidad de tener a mis trillizos en el año 1999 en Londres, Inglaterra. Nacieron de 29 semanas de gestación en el Hospital Hammersmith y posteriormente los trasladaron al Hospital Saint Mary’s. Los bebés, dos niñas y un niño pasaron dos meses en la UCI de neonatos de la Winnicott baby Unit. Durante la estancia en UCI recibimos información para poderlos apoyar en su desarrollo en general, sobre todo a nivel físico, psicológico y emocional. Trasladaron a los 3 bebes en una ambulancia especial para prematuros de un hospital a otro junto con una enfermera especializada con la que más tarde tuvimos mucho contacto. Cuando llegamos al segundo hospital encontramos un corcho colgado en la pared en donde venía escrito el nombre del personal sanitario para identificarlo más fácilmente a tanto a los médicos como a las enfermeras.
Instalaron a los bebes en una sala común pues había varios bebes ingresados y la unidad de cuidados intensivos se veía muy activa en ese momento. Continue reading
When Life Gives you Lemons: A Personal Story from Bulgaria about Pregnancy, Birth, Loss & Family, Part 2
In 2008, following the deaths of my children, I went home from the hospital feeling empty and broken-hearted. I simply wanted to close my eyes and die. I physically appeared to look pregnant and friends continued to enquire after the well being of my babies. I did not have the mental strength to deal with the reality of the situation and my husband was left to field the well-meant enquiries.
A number of months later we decided that we were strong enough to try for another pregnancy. The desire to have a family was so strong yet despite not being emotionally ready, we found the strength to embark on another pregnancy journey. Unfortunately the ICSI attempt failed and we had to face the stark reality of waiting for 12 months before we could try again (in Bulgaria families must wait 12 months between fertilization attempts).
Returning to work proved more difficult than I anticipated. While my friends and colleagues so dearly wanted to support and help me, they didn’t know how to speak with me, what questions to ask, or what I needed to help me in my grief. Continue reading
Leaving the secure if somewhat claustrophobic bubble of the NICU after three months was tinged with many conflicting emotions. We so desperately wanted to be a “normal” family, yet in our hearts we dreaded the day that the enormous responsibility of caring for our daughter would be placed on our shoulders alone. Our parenting journey to date had been filled with medical emergencies, medical interventions, enough medical personal to fill a football team and very little family time to enable us get to know Amelia.
This is my first blog ever, so I chose a big topic that can be discussed generally and then followed-up with additional, interesting information that I’d love to share. Although the initial topic is big, it is just one word – warm.
The meaning of words has always fascinated me. Warm has two different kinds of meaning and both are important in the NICU environment. One meaning of warm is thermal, referring to moderate heat. The second meaning of warm is emotional, implying a positive attitude or support. These dual meanings – thermal and emotional – are not just an oddity of English. The same duality appears in every language that has been analyzed for this: Arabic, Bambara (from Mali), French, German, Hungarian, Finnish, Wolof (from Senegal), and more. Continue reading